Different Kinds of Dates

There are so many different kind of dates. Here is a list of dates that everyone does at one point in their life or another.
1. First date- always unsure, nervous, exciting, warm and fuzzy, insane, and sometimes ugly.
I prefer the coffee date for a first date. I know some people are going to say that is not really a date but let's think a minute. On a first date you really don't know each other so you don't know if 5 minutes into the date you are going to want to shove a fork in your eye just so your date will shut up! A coffee date eliminates the "When is this going to end" thoughts that happen sometimes and if you get "OMG This is Great fuzzies" thoughts then you can always continue to dinner.
2. Second date- I really had a good time now lets have fun
Second dates can be romantic, spontaneous, weird, and goofy. You already know the spark is there and if you talked to the other person (didn't just watch a movie, yeah that's right, because sometimes you liked the movie but didn't get to know the other person) you now know you fit. So you can relax the interview is over and its time to enjoy.
3. Are we going to be a couple date- This is when you establish yes we are only going to date each other. An important step that needs to be talked about so that you are really in a relationship not just a comfortable groove that is easier than finding someone else to eat dinner with.
4.Keep the relationship going date- A date that is between a couple that is established (married or together for more than a year) that makes you remember how hot and sexy your partner is. I believe this one act is great for keeping things fresh in life.
These are just a few of the kinds of dates out there. I could keep going forever because there are also the blind date, the pity date, the make our parents happy and meet date, and of course the hook up date (just sex with a person you don't really know.
I think dating is fun or at least material for a funny story later in life. I think so many people are skipping these steps now because it seems that "dating" is almost a dirty word now. I wonder why this is? Is it the stress of the first date and people are just trying to skip it and jump into a relationship so they don't have to deal? I say fight for the right to date. Its important factor in life that is disappearing like the Dino's did. Lets tell everyone we know its OK to date.

WE CAN RESIST

I was thinking the other day (yeah I know I almost hurt myself) about how we are programed by nature and environment to mate mate mate but we are not told to wait ever. What I mean is that our bodies are programed to want to be with another person and we are told my relatives, TV, friends and so on that we are supposed to be with someone else and if we are not something is missing. I think this is how the divorce rate has climbed over the years. We are under so much pressure to just "be married" that we don't wait to find the right person.
Sometimes people really think they have and the other person has hidden major aspects from the other spouse such as addictions or so on. Other times people are just too young and instead of growing together they grow into different people so the love part could just not keep up.
I think for the most part the pressure from everyone just gets to people and they decide to jump in with both feet without looking. Kinda like a buy one get one free sale for shoes. You really don't like any of the other pairs of shoes but since the second pair is free you feel you have to get them. Of course that pair of great FREE shoes are never taken out of the closet again.
Pressure to get married and start a life (um what exactly are we doing before if not having a life? I don't think I am in frozen animation.)is on both men and women but its starts sooner with women. Yes that sounds sexist but its true. A man is considered a catch the longer he is not married, women are considered expired like bad milk. Relatives are always saying 'You will be next" or "what are you waiting for" well when people say these things to me I say "The guy that thinks no makeup been mowing the lawn look is sexy on me". I don't have to be next and neither do you if its not the right one. Sometimes you know you are great together but wait for a while anyway. Maybe the great one's breathing will get on your nerves so bad after 6 months you cant stand them, these things happen.

I'm not saying never marry (if I could find something like my brother relationship I'm keeping it, not perfect but perfect together) I'm just saying that there is nothing wrong with being happy and single. No one is going to be happy just because they are a couple. A partner can make a lot of great things happen in your life but they can not make you happy so don't just leap in because this person can walk and talk at the same time. Figure out what you want, need, and enjoy and then DATE but never be ashamed to say Table for ONE!

Drama Mamas

Being singe means your Friends come to you for advice (not sure why when they never listen to what I have to say and get mad when I get bosses, HELLO they know I'm going to try and fix it) and that is great but when it is drama that they create, then it is irritating because they really don't want the truth they want to be told everything is OK. Some men/women think that happiness for themselves depends on if they are a "couple". I think that if you cant make yourself happy how in the hell is someone else supposed to. A friend of mine recently broke up with her boyfriend "a great guy" that drank way to much, is into drugs, his family hates her, and has hit her more than once but she misses him. He made her happy. I have stood by my friend. I have gotten up at 2am to meet her in Walmart's parking lot to talk, picked her up when he has dumped her out of a car and offered to help sort out her money problems (the biggest one being she pays his bills, her bills, and cant budget). I have tried to support her and told her that I think she needed help to learn how to be alone even when she didn't want to hear it. I was worried because all she wants to do is sleep (sign of depression) but she said her therapist thinks she is fine (um not so much when you sleep 15 hour a day). I wanted her to go walking with me (exercise helps with depression) but she couldn't because "all she sees is couples being happy and she cant be happy without HIM". What the F? Happy does not mean you get slapped across your face at dinner time, this would never make me happy would it you? I know she does not want to see the abuse and she actually lives off it but still. How much can you blame on another person? Even if he was the GREAT guy, the Cary Grant of her dreams he could not make her happy if she doesn't know how to make herself happy.

Happiness-
1obsolete : good fortune : prosperity2 a: a state of well-being and contentment : joy b: a pleasurable or satisfying experience3: felicity, aptness (merriam-webster)
Happy-1: favored by luck or fortune : fortunate 2: notably fitting, effective, or well adapted : felicitous 3 a: enjoying or characterized by well-being and contentment b: expressing, reflecting, or suggestive of happiness c: glad, pleased d: having or marked by an atmosphere of good fellowship : friendly 4 a: characterized by a dazed irresponsible state b: impulsively or obsessively quick to use or do something c: enthusiastic about something to the point of obsession : obsessed (merriam-webster)

These are the definitions of Happy and Happiness. In these terms it does not say your happiness or joy in life depends on another person (although it does say obsessive is a term of happiness um can we say people are crazy). I will always be there for my Friend but I want to scream at her from time to time because she lets this madness into her life herself and then wonders why she is unhappy. I say laugh when you can, live in colors not black and white and realize that HAPPINESS is from inside yourself not inside others. BE proud to say TABLE FOR ONE if you are not a couple at the moment because those really yummy chips and dip are your favorite even if you are eating them by yourself.

Single Is Not a Disease!

This is my first blog here so thought I would explain myself. I am 34, single, no children, and loving it. Yes that's right I love it. I have a great job that has wonderful benefits so that means YES I pay my own bills (to all the mean men that think all women are gold diggers, I only say this because I have turned men down for dates this is the first insult they say. Like that is going to make someone go out with them. "Hey you suck", "well of course since you put it that way I would love to go out on a date" um NO). I have a wonderful family which means I borrow my nephews, hype them up on sugar, and then return them to my brother lol. I get the whole bed to myself and I never have to share the remote.

I am not saying that I do not enjoy men. I do. I love to have fun dates or even have a boyfriend (that would be manfriend as we get older but that just sounds weird) I just like to have my own space as well. I like not having to get up because someone else's alarm clock went off or to be totally gross in private (face masks make us pretty but when on women look like something out of a horror movie). I like to drink the milk straight out of the carton, its my milk lol.

What I hate about being single is that people treat you as if you are a different species. Your friends get married and suddenly you are the enemy. You could be a home wrecker. Of course you've known there guy for years and never wanted him but that doesn't seem to make a difference. Extended family members are always saying you have to get married to have a great life, yeah um that worked out so well for them and all the ex-husbands in the family tree.

What I love about being single. Well lets list them off.
1. Never having to wait in amusement park lines- the rides always need one person to even out the car lol
2. You can always find your shoes because no one has moved them out of (their) the way
3 I get to watch what I want to on TV because .....drum roll please..... IT MY TV
4.I never pull out the OJ to find a sip left in the jug that was put back in the fridge unless I was stupid and did it myself
5.Restaurants are easy to get into because there is always room for one person

SO what I'M saying is I'm proud to say TABLE FOR ONE please!