PAST IS THE PAST

OK I know I'm jaded, just by reading my blog you know I'm jaded lol. The problem I'm having today is the people who are saying "The love of my life was my first boyfriend/girlfriend from High School" type of thing. Now there are people that marry their HS sweetheart and live happily ever after but those are not the people I'm talking about. I'm talking about the people who dated for a month, broke up, and have not seen each other in 20 years. Come on! Wake up and smell the coffee here. You don't even know that person anymore.

Think back to HS for me it has been more than 15 years. I would not even wear most of the clothes I wore back then (even though some have come back into fashion) or do bullet proof hair (yes mainly the 80's and early 90's). I have become someone else since HS. Yes I still have the basic traits but at the same time those have evolved to new levels. The same reality is for everyone. You don't really know someone you have not seen in 15 years, experience changes all of us for the good or the bad. Maybe that extra bubbly cheerleader is now a depressed house wive or the depressed loner is the center of attention. The awkward kids are now the CEO of a company or the football player is still living in his Mom's basement. You Don't Know!

Our tastes change including food,movies, books, political stance, going green, meat eater or veggie. It all changes. So with all this change how can that person (that you haven't spoken to in years) be the love of your life NOW. They can't. They might have been the love of your life at 15 and the one person you always FANTASIZED as perfect but in this moment right now they are a stranger that you probably wouldn't even recognize on the street.

Basically what I am saying is STOP LIVING IN THE PAST, because you are going to miss what is going on in life NOW. The future is not here, the past is gone, but this moment will only be here once. Live it as it is happening.

Sorry I Havent Written

Hey there
This month has been CRAZY! I started my new Part Time job and combine that with my full time job some days I'm just dog tired. I have been thinking about my readers (LOL all two of them) and what I have to say. I have found more unfair and unjust things in this world (of course because no one ever said the world was fair). First I would like to point out reality TV. If there are prizes for something, the people with families (spouses and children only doesn't matter if you have a Mom, Dad, nephews, nieces or Sibs) they get to talk with the family and the rest are usually given something else. OK so whats up with that? Like I wouldn't miss my family just because I don't have children? Um yeah I would. (although I think if you are doing a reality show, for about 6 weeks at the most, you could suck it up and not talk with your family that long unless there is an illness)

I also have watch (yes I know there is a different when I can go home) my nephew for long periods of time and have never let him act badly in a restaurant so the excuses people give that they just cant make their kids mind them are bogus and I'm sorry but I would never let my kid wear things that are inappropriate for the occasion I think it really is lazy. Now I'm not saying they have to be dressed to the NINES but a Halloween costume is not meant to be worn out to dinner except on Halloween and all the people that let their kids get away with it so they don't have a screaming match (yes 2-7 years olds got some lungs and it is frustrating) will have problems later because they are not learning now. Everything in life is a lesson of some sort even the stuff that makes you want to pull your hair out.

Here is a link to Dear Margo http://www.wowowow.com/style/dear-margo-howard-single-dating-autism-advice-323643
This is to Advice columnist Dear Margo about a guy that likes being single. Now some of his views are radical but the main point is he is happy so why cant people leave him along about it. This is the kind of thing I'm talking about. I just want the world to be fair on both sides, If you are Happy being married I say have a Happy Dance and if you are Happy being Single I say have a Happy Dance

ARE MEN BEING CHEATED?

OK so I have gone over some of the things people do to women that are single but I have left out half the population by not telling about men. I do not have first hand knowledge since as you might have guessed I'm not a man but I do have Friends that seem to get the short end of the stick. For example, if a man is looking to get married he is desperate no matter what but a girl is expected to want to get married. Another one is if a guy talks about wanting kids, loves his momma, has already planned out a future wedding fantasy, he is considered crazy but this is supposed to be normal for a woman? Normal how? I have not ever fantasized about spending thousands of dollars so I can wear a fancy dress. I have however fantasied about spending thousands of dollars to get a classic muscle car. I know I am guilty of this judgement as well because if a guy says he is looking for marriage and its a first date then I leave smoke trails getting to the door. I think that if we all have perspective about what is OK to say to someone that you don't know well then things will be fine.

Here are some dating tips from a speed dating queen
1. Don't mention marriage on a first date unless asked if
a. are you married? um please don't date if you are married
b. Have you ever been married? This is basically just an icebreaker. Do not go into all the gory details of the divorce or the ex

2. Do not get into heavy discussions on a first date. That can wait until you actually know if you ever want to see this person again. Think of it like this. If you would not walk up to a complete stranger in the supermarket and say what you are about to say DO NOT SAY IT TO YOUR DATE. Your date is a complete stranger duh!

3. Be happy with yourself. A spouse, partner, boyfriend, girlfriend or even a booty call will not make you happy. They can add joy to your world but you have to love yourself. Have hobbies, exercise, a job you love, or even a job that one day you want to do. If you are not happy, you really do send out desperate vibes that the other person can pick up on.

4. Don't take it personal if you don't click. That is what dating is about. Having fun but seeing if you want to spend another day with that person. IF not they have not wronged you in anyway. Would you really want someone to be with you out of Pity? I think not.

So the moral is don't judge men that act like woman are supposed to. (I will try not to as well.) Men should be able to want a family without people saying they are whipped, weird, desperate, or anything else. Follow dating rules for a fun time and remember that it is just a date. Not the end of the world. Even if its a bad date eventually it will be funny and a great icebreaker for future dates.

SO BE PROUD, BE LOUD, AND SAY TABLE FOR ONE!!!

OWNING PROPERTY

Explain this to me? If I was married the risk for the banks is less than right now since I'm single. I would still be working, I would still have MY income (doesn't matter if spouse is working or not still less risk), and I would still pay my bills on time. How is that fair? Yes yes I know life is not fair and its not a circus either but still we should work at being fair don't you think? If it was only my income either way (married or single) then how is it less of a risk if I was married? My spouse would not have a job so that is equal to NO MONEY and I still would have the same job so that means THE SAME AMOUNT OF MONEY. I guess what the world is saying is that as a married person I would not be prone to taking off for the unknown at a moments notice and leave an unpaid mortgage ( yeah right) of course I guess all those people that skip out on bills that are married have a corrupted single gene that didn't change over once they said I DO. Yeah that must be it. Once you have some person said vows to you and you repeat them your habits for spending and saving automatically change into something wonderful unless your get the single disease corrupt DNA and that makes all the married people crazy. It couldn't possible be them. Well I am not going to get married just so I can save money on a home loan and I am still proud to say TABLE FOR ONE!

ANTI-SOCIAL?

I heard a phase today that I had never, DID I SAY NEVER, associated to being single. The phrase was anti-social described as someone happy being single that is getting over a bad break up. Yeah that is not what I consider anti-social. The correct definition of anti- social ASPD) is defined by the American Psychiatric Association's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual as "...a pervasive pattern of disregard for, and violation of, the rights of others that begins in childhood or early adolescence and continues into adulthood."[1] Deceit and manipulation are considered essential features of the disorder.

I do not know of anyone that would say just because a person is single (single is not a disease we have been over this) they are manipulative,deceitful,or anything else as defined here. People who are ANTI-SOCIAL are anti social married, single, gay, straight, or even if they are purple. It has nothing to do with being single. We need to stop as a society punishing people that do not have partners and let people be happy. We need to stop making everyone feel like they are not important if they are single. Everyone needs to stop thinking single equals mental problems, HELLO I'm just picky! and I would guess so are alot of other people. Remember to love the people close to you, tell them often, and to stop with the "nice" name calling just because a person is single.

Oh by the way, I heard someone say this about themselves which is very depressing for 2 reasons. First reason is that people need to read more and KNOW what they are talking about and the second is that someone would equate anti-social with HAPPY.

RESPONSIBILITY

OK one thing that will cheese me off more than just about anything else is someone not taking responsibility for kids or animals. This effects everyone. Single, not single, married, widowed, and so on. Today I saw 2 dogs roaming at a gas station and then having to cross a busy street where they went to the house they live at. These dogs were friendly, well groomed, and looked well fed but the danger to them is real. They could have been hit by a car anywhere along the way or people can be mean and someone could have done something to one of them. It is the owners responsibility to have a fenced yard and not to let their dogs roam the streets or to have unwanted puppies that they just throw out. I am not saying a dog can not escape from a yard (its happened to me) but to just throw your dog outside and say fend for yourself is WRONG. When a person gets a dog, they are taking responsibility for the health and well being of that dog. Dogs just want to give love and friendship. If a person doesn't want to return this then DON'T GET A DOG. Dogs don't always stay tiny and cuddly. They grow, chew, poop where they are not supposed to, and can get into trouble but that makes them dogs. The best thing to do is take them to obedience class and the vet after that everything is easy. If you can afford a dog DON'T GET ONE. Dogs are not something that can be put in a closet until you want them to play that day, they are creatures that can get bored, hungry, sick, and give all the love in their hearts. So please take responsibility for your animals and help strays where you can. I was going to take them to my vet until I saw that they went home but if I see those dogs again I'm going to report the owners and turn them over to my vet so she can find a home that will love and care for them.

Different Kinds of Dates

There are so many different kind of dates. Here is a list of dates that everyone does at one point in their life or another.
1. First date- always unsure, nervous, exciting, warm and fuzzy, insane, and sometimes ugly.
I prefer the coffee date for a first date. I know some people are going to say that is not really a date but let's think a minute. On a first date you really don't know each other so you don't know if 5 minutes into the date you are going to want to shove a fork in your eye just so your date will shut up! A coffee date eliminates the "When is this going to end" thoughts that happen sometimes and if you get "OMG This is Great fuzzies" thoughts then you can always continue to dinner.
2. Second date- I really had a good time now lets have fun
Second dates can be romantic, spontaneous, weird, and goofy. You already know the spark is there and if you talked to the other person (didn't just watch a movie, yeah that's right, because sometimes you liked the movie but didn't get to know the other person) you now know you fit. So you can relax the interview is over and its time to enjoy.
3. Are we going to be a couple date- This is when you establish yes we are only going to date each other. An important step that needs to be talked about so that you are really in a relationship not just a comfortable groove that is easier than finding someone else to eat dinner with.
4.Keep the relationship going date- A date that is between a couple that is established (married or together for more than a year) that makes you remember how hot and sexy your partner is. I believe this one act is great for keeping things fresh in life.
These are just a few of the kinds of dates out there. I could keep going forever because there are also the blind date, the pity date, the make our parents happy and meet date, and of course the hook up date (just sex with a person you don't really know.
I think dating is fun or at least material for a funny story later in life. I think so many people are skipping these steps now because it seems that "dating" is almost a dirty word now. I wonder why this is? Is it the stress of the first date and people are just trying to skip it and jump into a relationship so they don't have to deal? I say fight for the right to date. Its important factor in life that is disappearing like the Dino's did. Lets tell everyone we know its OK to date.